Snuggles

A blind spot in my parenting was revealed.  It was a rude awakening. I quit singing and rocking the boys to sleep once they started to sleep on their own.  I didn't do it out of a purposeful neglect.  It just never dawned on me that the boys might want that.  I always tell them I love them, hug them, kiss their heads, and express my pride in their abilities.  I rarely sit with them to watch tv or a movie with them.  I don't sit with them to snuggle.  I put the TV on, or a movie, to entertain them so that I can clean or get something done.  I play games, but I guess that's not the same type of quality time or love they need. 

I had this rude awakening upon moving Ben to the boys' room.  Ben is sleep trained, but I always snuggle him, sing a song to him, and then lay him in bed.  He never falls asleep right away, but that's our routine.  Once Jadon and Joshua saw me do that with Benjamin they asked if I would do that with them as well. I was really surprised!  So, now, before bed, I hold each boy and sing whatever song they request.  It's a sweet and beautiful moment.  I can't believe I've missed out of these snuggles for all this time!  They often want me to sing, "You are my sunshine." They always ask me to put their name into the song instead of "dear."

This goes to show that children, no matter the age, always want their mom to hold them, sing to them, and nurture their hearts.  I knew this, but seeing how important this ritual is has made that reality all to real.  I thought I was meeting that need in other ways, but it appears I wasn't.

Clearly, I won't always be able to hold the boys in my arms to sing to them, but I need to make sure they always feel this same type of connection even as they grow into manhood.

Snuggles.  Who would have thought they were lacking in that area.