Their Differences

I've been thinking about the differences between my sons.  I find it interesting that they come from the same parents, the same DNA, and the same upbringing and yet they are already vastly different.

When you look at them you can see the outward differences and similarities. Their is no mistaking they are brothers!  They both have the same hair color/type/style.  They both have long torso's, but shorter legs.  And they'll both be tall!  I think Joshua may be a little taller, but I could be wrong.  Jadon has my skin tone, smile, and eyes.  Yet, he looks Just like his dad.   Joshua has Jason's skin tone (very fair), but his facial built is definitely more from me.  I think Jadon will be a little skinnier and Joshua will be a little more stout like a football player.

Jadon:
I really believe he's going to be a very loyal detail oriented kid.  His memory is amazing.  He really prefers pairs.  It doesn't matter what, but he will remember the color and shape of everything he owns.  He isn't happy unless he has them both.  I was praying about that characteristic the other day when suddenly I 'heard' that he's going to be a very loyal and faithful man.  Just has he has two have his two pairs shows that he'll be just as loyal to his friends and relationships.  Sometimes I worry he may be a little OCD (everything has to line up, colors have to match, and he's very specific with everything), but it doesn't worry me much.  I think he'll just be an amazing detailed kid just like his dad.  Jadon has a lot of energy, loves to dance, smile, play, and be active, but he's also very cautious.  He's the kid who will sit at the top of the twisty slide to greet everyone, want to make friends, but stay at the top because he's scared to go down the dark slide.  He loves his shapes, numbers, and colors.  It amazes me just how much he craves... no, NEEDS to be loved and receive approval.  He soaks it into every pour of his little body.  He definitely learns from praise, yet he also is learning to be nice, share, and face consequences.  I have to laugh because when I hear him say, "be nice to your brother" it's usually because he just wasn't and knows that's what I'd tell him.  He's sensitive, but also extremely resilient.  I know that if he's crying then he must really be hurt.  I'm constantly amazed at all the little bruises that pop up and I have NO idea where they came from.  He never tells me he's hurt!  He just falls/trips and gets right back up.  Joshua is the same way.

Joshua:
I still can't get over his beautiful blue eyes!  That's the first difference that strikes me every time I see him.  However, there are other differences that are prevalent!  He loves green beans and peas.  Most kids hate the green stuff (Jadon did), but not our Joshua.  I really believe he's going to be the kid who is always out there.  He's already climbing and fearless!  I think he's going to be the kid who jumps head first down that dark twisty slide!  We're amazed at his growth.  Jason calls him the 11 month old toddler because he's been walking for months, climbs on everything he can, and LOVES to do anything new.  He already insists on being outside.  He's in heaven walking around in the grass, bending down to pick up a ball, and he's recently already started playing with cars!  I can't believe it!  He got a little car for his birthday (he opened it early).  I was SHOCKED to find him sitting on the carpet and running that car over the carpet like a bigger kid would do.  How is it that he knows it's supposed to go like that?  I guess he learned that from his brother.  Jadon has never been into cars so it's shocking to see Joshua interested and so early!  Yet, he's a very laid back kid.  He's only ever cried if he was hungry, tired, or hurt.  I sometimes feel guilty that I'm not spending enough quality time with him because he's perfectly happy to chase his brother, climb on the toddler bed, play with toys, and chill.

I'm really enjoying watching them growth.  I can't wait to see just how similar and different they'll be as they continue to become the men God created them to be!

Check out my new BEAUTIFUL siggy!

Whew!

I've wanted to blog for a few days now, but it seems I've always been distracted with the house, kids, cleaning, or just being tired! :)

I had a really busy, but wonderful weekend.  Amy came down for three days so that she could see us and attend Shanessa's wedding.  She was a huge help as I worked in the background at Shanessa's wedding.  She was the jelly to my peanut butter. :P  I really enjoyed all that I did!  I really felt like I was in my element again.  I loved the adrenaline that pumped through my veins and being the one to make sure things happened.  I really need to find a way to jump back into that gifting of mine!

I packed up most of Joshua's 6 month clothes.  I kept a few 9-12 month pj's because they JUST fit.  I need them until I can get the rest of his 12 month clothes from mom's house (that'll happen on Tuesday) and buy more pj's.  Jadon's 12 month wardrobe seems to consist of spring/summer things.  It's still winter in Joshua's 12 month wardrobe world. haha

We ordered Joshua's new convertible carseat!  I'm very excited!  It's time!  I've had my heart set on the myride 65 for months now.  The safety features and price are just right.  Just today, as I looked at Walmart's website, I discovered they came out with a new material.  It's black and silver.  Love!  The price was perfect too!

I've been catching up on my daily bible reading.  I got a little behind with how busy I was this weekend.  I finished up Genesis and through Mathew 8.  I still have four chapters of Job to read and then I'm caught up.

Here are the few reflections I had as I read...

 

1. While reading about Sarah I was struck at the words that her period had CEASED. I've read that passage A LOT over the years and some how I never read that before! I just assumed, with their long lives, that she must have had her period still.  No wonder she laughed when they said she'd have a son in a year!

2. My heart went out to Leah. I found it VERY interesting that Leah followed God, but Rachel stole her dad's graven images. Maybe Leah was the one he should have been so devoted to! It broke my heart a little when he went before his brother, Esau, and put all the other children/wives first and Rachel/her boys last. When leah was the faithful one!

3. I always thought of Joseph in jail with the baker/other guy... like IN jail, but as I read it this time I read that he oversaw the jailers. God always raised him in rank - even in Jail.

4. It's always bothered me that Jesus granted the demon's wish to go into the swine.  Why do it when you know the pigs will drown?  Why not just send the demons to hell?  Yet, this time I was struck with the thought/disservice Jesus did to the man that owned those pigs!  I have to imagine that part, if not all, of their entire livelihood drowned that day. I wonder why Jesus didn't think about that before he granted the demon's request.  Even if the pigs were wild why sentence the pigs to death?  Was it because they were 'unclean'?  But still... within a few short years food won't be 'unclean' under the new law.  Jesus had to have known all that so why kill the pigs?

Reading my Bible in a year

As a New Years Resolution I decided to follow this website so that I can read my Bible in a year. 

http://bibleinayearandbeyond.blogspot.com/search/label/Planning%20for%202011

Today was day 2.   I read Genesis 4-6 and Mathew 2.  I thought I'd share my thoughts on what I read today.

I'm finding it very interesting how God created the heavens/stars/moon as a sign that points to seasons and a purpose. I don't plan on becoming an astrologer or anything, but .. yet again, the devil tried to pervert what God first created and ordained!

Secondly, has it ever bothered you that only one child is named in the geology in Gen 5? I can't help but feel for the others who were not 'important' enough to be mentioned by name. Every time I've ever read that I always feel my heart crying out, "Lord, don't let me be unmentionable."

Have you ever thought what Adam and Eve must have felt like when they lost both their sons? Man.

Also, Cain worked the ground and in his sin his judgment was to never work the ground again. His sin/choices cost him his relationship with God, his family, and the only work he ever knew. Yet, God still blessed his hands because it appears he built a city, had many children, and those children 'created' many things we still use. (although, they were created first in heaven)

Wouldn't it have been neat to see a Nephilium? My, how long they lived! It's interesting that God took Enoch when he was only 365.  I wonder why God took him up so 'young.' 

The waters were 270 feet above the highest mountain.  I wonder if they felt like they could touch the sky/clouds!?!  I wonder where all that water came from when it says, "the waters of the great deep burst forth" in Gen 7:11.

Contentment

I read a blog that about contentment tonight that really resonated with me.

An excerpt:

"Most of all, we discovered that contentment is a state of the heart, unaffected by outward circumstances.

Contentment is a choice. So choose today to bloom where you’re planted. Choose to make the most of whatever situation you find yourself in. Choose to stop focusing on what you don’t have and start being thankful for the many blessings you do have.

And remember, no matter what difficulties you might be dealing with today, somebody else would love to be in your shoes."

~~

I really found this to be profound.  Contentment is a choice.  What is the state of my heart?  How can I change that?

I really need to remember this on days I'm blinded by myself and my circumstances.

Christmas

I really wish Christmas was never created.  Think how much easier it would be on all of us financially, emotionally, and physically if we didn't have to hum ho excitement/memories and then be forced to face the reality that it'll never match up to it.

If Christmas was never created then maybe we'd actually celebrate Christ's birth.  I mean we SAY that's the reason for the season, but what everyone really thinks about are the presents, the disappointments, family drama, and food.

It's insane.  Think about it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.  That's Christmas in a NUT SHELL.

It was special

Jadon has never been a big snuggler.  He was as a baby, but as time has gone on that changed.  I've secretly worried if that was a byproduct of sleep training, but I think that's just his personality.  Jadon is always on the move.  He may sit by you for a SHORT bit to watch tv or something, but it's inevitable he'll be on the go.

Jadon likes to run into our room in the morning once he wakes up.  It's super cute to hear, "HI Mom.  HI DAD." in his exuberant way, but it's painful so early in the morning. LOL  Shortly there after we'll hear, "Mickey Mouse in the better?"  That means, "can I please watch Mickey Mouse in the bedroom?"  He Loves Mickey Mouse.  He'll sit there and watch it quietly and patiently!  (I"m so going to use this show to potty train him.)  Well, this morning he didn't just sit at the end of the bed... he crawled up to me, I fluffed up a pillow, and he SNUGGLED with me for twenty minutes watching Mickey Mouse.  It was super sweet and special.  I've always been a snuggler.  I've been praying this would happen.  Not an urgent prayer, but just a, "Lord, it will be nice to snuggle with him some day" kind of prayer.  It warmed my heart.  Jason was jealous he had to get up for work!

I've also been working on snuggling more with Joshua.  He's growing so fast.  Really Really Fast.  I realized, last week, that my snuggling window with Joshua is closing fast.  In a blink of an eye he's going to be too big to rock.  I don't begrudge sleep training.  I love his independence, but I am also working very hard to cultivate snuggling with Joshua more.  Last night we put him in bed and he cried.  It wasn't his normal little whine before drifting off to sleep so I went into the room right away, picked him up, and rocked in the glider.  This sweet little kid snuggled up in my neck and fell asleep right away.  I rocked for a while enjoying the smell of our recently bathed/lotioned kidlet, and then placed him in his bed and enjoyed a quiet evening.


We went to church yesterday.  I really enjoyed the worship  The message was great as well.  Jason and I had to take turns in the nursery.  Jadon was not comfortable being left in there without us.  Joshua didn't care!  He was content the entire time, but Jadon was the same way at that age too.   Jason ended up hanging out in there most of the time. 

I'm having a hard time figuring out what my expectations for church fellowship should be.  Jason tells me the reason he's going back to church is to for others - that I hook back up with people, that the kids become more socialized, and for the community.  He has always been awkward during worship so helping Jadon get comfortable in the nursery is easier for him.  Plus, he isn't a people person.  So I guess I need to be okay with the fact that I'll be sitting alone.

I guess I walked in there wanting my old expectations.  I wanted to be able to put the kids in the nursery so we could go to church together.  I wanted to socialize.  I wanted to go to the fajita dinner, eat, socialize, laugh, and try to find a nook in that church... but having kids seems to mean I can't do that.  So, what should my expectations be as a mother?

We also made an extra step to go to the fajita Christmas dinner last night.  Everyone seemed nice and genuine... a few introduced themselves, but no one really went out of there way to talk to us.  I didn't feel like it was clicky... but maybe they just felt awkward too.  Plus, Jadon didn't want to sit still.  I let him run the halls before we ate, but even then he wasn't happy sitting.  Jason took him to the room where the other kids (just a few) were playing and just hung out there all evening.  That left me with Joshua.  Joshua wanted to crawl/walk.  I felt like I couldn't sit and talk to anyone because I was constantly on my toes trying to make sure I knew where he was, etc.  I ended up telling Jason I just wanted to leave about an hour later.  Jason didn't really want to leave.  He wanted me to socialize more, but I didn't feel like I could.  Jason said, "I don't think you know what you want."  I told him that was really mean of him to say and I cried most of the way home.  (Later he hugged me and told me he understands that it's hard getting back into the swing of things.)

It isn't that I don't know what I want.  I want fellowship.  I want to make friends.  I want to socialize!!!!  But I don't know HOW to do that if I'm constantly corralling a kid (or two.)  We just don't fit into normal socializing with little kids.  Or, I can let Jason take all the kids (which he's fine with) but where is his socializing going to come from?  I want to do it together.

Please don't get me wrong.  I wouldn't' trade my kids or life for ANYTHING... but there are moments I miss the days when it was just about me.  Prior to kids I would have walked into that church, socialized my butt off, and left feeling like I had the potential to really fit in. 

We're definitely going to return to the church.  I didn't dislike it, the message, or the people.  Maybe it'll get easier ... and people will get to know us and even help me hold Joshua or something so I can talk to people.  I won't feel like my kids are distracting everyone as they explore.  I dunno.